For those who want my opinion (and even those who don’t) on Audrey Hepburn’s movies

Jess’s Updated List of Audrey Hepburn Movies:

Roman Holiday 

Love love love this movie and all it stands for. Aud definitely deserved her Oscar, and it’s a shame that Greg Peck never got one. I love the Roman backdrop, the enchanting story, and the amazing – and undeniable – chemistry between Aud and Greg. This is definitely one of my go-to Audrey movies when I need a pick-me-up.

Sabrina 

I mean, it’s cute. But Sabrina should’ve chosen David. Linus is old and cranky; David is young and vibrant (with perhaps too much of a wandering eye?) This movie should be seen by any aspiring fashionista or designer, simply because it marks the start of a beautiful friendship and partnership: that of Aud and Hubert de Givenchy.

War and Peace 

Yawn, snore. I mean, I know it’s a chore to read War and Peace, which is what this felt like. I’m still not entirely sure what the story is: there’s a war. I assume there’s peace in there somewhere. And Mel Ferrer’s in there? I admit, it’s nice to actually see Mel in something rather than just read about him as this domineering dog. I’d probably watch this again just to refresh, but I’d have to talk myself into it.

Funny Face 

Ohmigod, I love this movie. I want that yellow dress. I want to philosophize with all the guys around Montmartre and Montparnasse. Who’da thunk that Aud would be the girl to create bohemian chic? I love how Aud just seems so relaxed and vibrant and happy in this movie. She’s fulfilling a childhood dream of dancing with Fred Astaire, she’s wearing a Givenchy wardrobe, she’s dancing, she’s singing. She’s absolutely stunning.

Love in the Afternoon 

I don’t know why, I just can’t get into this movie. I watched it once a year or so ago, and all I can remember is that she jumps on the train at the end, and she lies about having many paramours. That and she gives a spiel about her flaws (like she has any).

Green Mansions 

It’s a sweet enough story, but I think it’s a mess. Mainly because Mel directed it and he was way more concerned with the aesthetic and not how it was all going to work. Props to Aud for being a trooper, but I’m not itching to watch this again anytime soon (it hasn’t been advertised on TCM lately).

The Nun’s Story 

Beautiful and intense; this is one of Aud’s most inspired performances. I love the dedication and preparation Aud took before she even stepped in front of the camera. You can tell from every inch of her being that she takes everything seriously. Her friends say this is the closest to the real Audrey as you’ll get. I for one, am glad.

The Unforgiven 

This was a little too Flowers in the Attic for me. I mean, did people actually think that Aud could pass as Native American? She retained the European accent, for cripes sake! Plus, Burt Lancaster, who plays her adopted brother, is in love with her. And it’s all so subtle, it’s like, “Your home is being attacked by the Native Americans, and they’re angry that you stole Audrey from them, and you’re just going to kiss while Lillian Gish is dead and your little brother shakily holds that gun?”

Breakfast at Tiffany’s 

Iconic role. I think every girl has a Breakfast at Tiffany’s movie poster on the wall of her first dorm or apartment. This was my introduction to Audrey. I love the chic, the aesthetics, the clothing, the chemistry between Aud and George Peppard. For someone who wasn’t the first choice as Holly Golightly, Aud definitely plays her to perfection. It’s worth watching just to see them stroll around ‘60s New York, or the Givenchy wardrobe, or the heartwarming ending.

The Children’s Hour 

This movie makes me angry every time I see it, mainly because I think Aud should’ve roundhouse kicked that little imp, Mary, in the face. I think Aud and Shirley MacLaine play off each other perfectly. Add James Garner (ooh la la) and it’s a great cast. It’s also a good story, one that’ll continue to be relevant.

Charade

The best film that Hitchcock never made. I was captivated until the end, watch Aud and Cary Grant tiptoe around Paris to find out why Aud’s husband was murdered. Perfectly acted and directed, this is a great movie to watch on a lazy afternoon.

Paris – When it Sizzles

Okay, okay. I know this is critically and commercially panned. I know Aud considered it the worst in her repertoire. I don’t care. I love it. It’s light, it’s frothy, it takes place in Paris and it reunites Aud and William Holden (they should’ve gotten married, I’m just saying.). It’s a mess of a plot, but there’s a certain je ne sais quoi about this movie that I love.

My Fair Lady

I like this movie, and I definitely consider it a must-watch, but it’s just too long for me. And I like musicals that make me want to dance and sing about chills that are multiplying. I love the visuals, the Cecil Beaton designed clothes, Aud’s adorable Cockney accent, and watching Rex Harrsion sing-speak. Sometimes I catch myself singing “Wouldn’t it Be Loverly?” which should count for something.

How to Steal a Million

I love this movie. Out of all Aud’s co-stars, save Gregory Peck, I think the chemistry between Aud and Peter O’Toole is the best. I love this impossibly believable storyline: Aud’s father is a forger, his father was a forger, etc. etc. He donates a forged Cellini statue to an art museum, and Aud must think quick when the museum plans to do authenticity testing – which Aud’s father approved! Add Peter O’Toole as a “burglar” and the two of them trapped in a broom closet while they try to steal the Venus, and you’ve got a good time.

Two for the Road

This is easily one of Aud’s most honest, impressive, heart-moving performances. She plays opposite Albert Finney in a story told over twelve years of a relationship, from first meeting to potential breakdown of marriage, over the course of various road trips in the south of France. It’s very avant-garde, very heartbreaking, and very different from anything Aud ever tried before. It’s so beautiful. Watch it or I’ll never talk to you again.

Wait Until Dark

Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. But, I mean, it’s Aud. And Alan Arkin (perhaps known to lesser movie buffs as the grandfather from Little Miss Sunshine). And she’s blind, and he’s terrorizing her, and somehow she manages to make it out relatively unscathed. Can I just say, I screamed when Alan Arkin jumped out with the knife and latched on to Aud’s ankle? Cause that totally happened.

Robin and Marian

I love the idea that they explored what happens to Robin Hood and Maid Marian, but the idea that he just took off and she joined the convent? That’s depressing. And then she SPOILER ALERT poisons them at the end? I know it’s romantic and sad, but it’s just heartbreaking to think that that’s what happened to two of the greatest heroes in English lore.

Bloodline

I liked this movie, which surprised me. I didn’t like Ben Gazzara. I did like Audrey, who still looks as impossibly beautiful as she did in Roman Holiday. It’s a murder mystery, about which cousin killed the head of a pharmaceutical company, and each had a motive. I liked that this movie kept me interested until the end, but I didn’t get how the actual killer was connected with the murders, or why said cousin needed to try and murder Aud for her silence. I guess that’s my chief complaint.

They All Laughed

I didn’t get this. John Ritter’s bumbling around. A Robert Plant lookalike is tailing Aud and pretending to be Ben Gazzara’s son. Ritter, Robert Plant and Ben Gazzara are detectives, but I don’t get why they’re tailing Aud. Or what they find out about her. I mean, I definitely think I need to watch this one again, but not for a while. I’m fine just now. Plus, Dorothy Stratten, a Playboy playmate, starred in this movie, was dating the director, and was murdered by her psychopath ex-husband. That’s why the movie was never widely released. That and the fact that Dorothy Stratten’s body was discovered crawling with ants, which was enough to distract me every time she was on screen.

Always

A perfect ending to a perfect career. Aud playing an angel? What could be better? The story was okay, but I didn’t like the characters. Richard Dreyfuss, aka the marine biologist from Jaws, is a firefighting pilot who dies in an unnecessary situation. And his girlfriend is like, the dish of all these pilots? She has a mullet, pretends she’s helpess in the kitchen, and then steals a plane to go rescue trapped firefighters when no one else can get to them? Who would want that? Very non-Audrey. I’m just saying.

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